Day 32: Conversation at the Grocery Store

Today I made some last-minute purchases at the local grocery store, where I had an interesting conversation with one of the employees there. I wanted to buy some nuts and candies for my family and friends, so I went to what I will call a nut section of the supermarket. Like the deli or bakery, the nut section had a counter where you could order various quantities of whatever you want from behind the cases, and an employee to weigh and package your order for you. There were dozens of nuts and nut/trail mixes, just as many candies and dried fruits, and various types of coffee beans and cardamom to mix with the coffee when ground.

Usually if I go to a deli or bakery I smile a polite hello, place my order, receive my order, and continue on my way. This was not the case in this supermarket. The man working behind the nut counter engaged me in conversation, asking me what I was doing in Damascus and how long I would stay, etc., and gave me samples of at least half a dozen different nuts and candies before he would take my order. As we were talking, a British woman came to place an order, so he invited her to join us for a cup of coffee, but she said she was in a hurry so my new friend took care of her before returning to finish his conversation with me. We talked some more, then I thanked him and left to finish my shopping.

Continuing down the aisles, I was thinking about how different that experience was from any I’d had in any other supermarket when my friend, the nut guy, reappeared with a carafe of coffee in hand. He invited me to have a cup of Arabic coffee with him and I had time to spare, so we returned to the nut counter to chat over the tiny but potently spiced brew. I finished my second cup of coffee (he had refilled it after I was almost done with my first), thanked him, and said goodbye. As I was about to leave, he filled another bag with nuts and candies and gave it to me free as a gift.

As effusively friendly as my friend was in the store, this was not the end of his gift-giving. A few hours later when I was in the lobby of the hotel, Rich (another student on our trip) came up to me with a small candy shaped like a red rose that he had been given by the nut guy to give to me.

Reflecting on this experience made me realize several things. First of all, I had opened up a bit to the culture since arriving in the Middle East. I would never have stayed and chatted with this man had I not gone to the markets with Clarice and other students who threw caution to the wind and accepted the hospitality of random shopkeepers. Just the day before in Aleppo, Clarice and some others and I went to the market and ended up sitting in a scarf shop for hours drinking tea and talking to the shopkeeper and about half a dozen of his family members that strayed into the shop at various intervals to introduce themselves and see what was going on. Before this trip, I would quickly refuse any sort of invitation from a random man, assuming that he had sketchy intentions in mind. After this trip I feel I am more willing to “stop and smell the roses” and give attention to people whom I would normally not pay more attention than necessary. I’ll be cautious of those who end up not having the best intentions in talking to me, but through market excursions, cab rides, and other adventures I have learned that strangers may have more insight and interesting experiences to share than would meet the eye on first glance.

The second thing I realized was that this kind of warmth and hospitality is not usually present in the West. Watching the British woman place her order was a moment of epiphany, as that is when I realized that I would have acted just like her and rushed through my shopping had it not been for this trip. This gives me a deeper understanding of how other cultures may view American culture as shallow or too fast-paced. I’m not sure whether the fast-paced environment in the U.S. will allow me to act on my desire to talk to random people more, but I guess I’ll just have to try it out and see what happens.

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